Saturday, March 29, 2008

Guilty Pleasure

Our friend Mary is visiting from California. Quick! Make a snack!

I can say in all honesty that I had nothing to do with this. It's my wife's concoction and her go-to, fattiest, most indulgent and politically incorrect guilt food: Rotel mixed with Velveeta cheese.

Rotel is like salsa in a can--diced tomatoes and green chilies. Velveeta, as we all know, is a squared-off log of something that looks like cheese but really is made in a laboratory by Kraft. It contains "cheese culture" and "milk protein concentrate," and other things like "sodium alginate." Faux dairy though it may be, Velveeta has great melting properties. Just dump a few chunks with Rotel in a saucepan and very shortly you have something you can scoop up with tortilla chips.

The only problem is, you have to wear a paper bag over your head while you eat it. But my wife wants everyone to know, She doesn't care what you think!

That's a direct quote.

(The cocktails, by the way, is grapefruit-flavored Absolut vodka with pomegranate liqueur and pomegranate juice. Again, my wife's choice.)

Do you have a favorite eating habit that plunges you into the depths of shame and self-loathing? Let us hear about it!

13 comments:

Mimi said...

You ate that! Lol, lol!!
The cocktails make up for the dip with all of the vitamins and nutrients in the pomegranite juice. So you should live through it just fine.

Terri said...

Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Deluxe. Couldn't live without it!

(Your guest looks a little bit young for martinis!)

Pattie said...

The 64-ounce bag of Nestle chocolate chips from Costco. It's a problem.

Deb said...

Between the Velveeta dip and the cocktail, you've got me drooling all over the keyboard. My house has finally been Velveeta free for several months, but now I'm reconsidering!

I've been enjoying your blog lately, and I've added a link in my sidebar.

Ed Bruske said...

Mimi, I confess. I did eat (slurp) some of that dip. You need the cocktail to forget what you are eating.

Terri, you may not believe this, but the daughter actually requested a Shirley Temple.

Pattie, my wife almost died laughing when I told her about the 64-ounce bag of chips from Costco. Apparently, she can relate.

Deb, I have a soft spot from the North Woods of Minnesota. My parents honemooned there with a canoe and a tent and I was always promised a trip there. It never materialized. Your kids must be having one heckuva childhood.

sugarcreekfarm said...

I can't quite quit the Velveeta, and frozen pizza rolls.

Mosby said...

It's a tie between pork rinds and chips and queso. Oh, the shame!

Maureen said...

Your wife knows a good thing. Alcohol kills all the chemicals, didn't you know?!?!? ;-)

Pattie said...

Ed: Tell your wife is actually a 72-ounce bag. Not that it's on my lap right now or anything.

Gretchen Noelle said...

This was a FAVORITE of mine about 20 years ago. Living in california, my mom would order boxes of Rotel from texas since you couldn't find the cans in any store nearby. Thanks for the great memory!

Kelly said...

I've never heard of Rotel, but I do love to indulge in a jar of store bought (likely velveeta without the name brand, but same garbage) queso cheese sauce with jalapenos and tomatoes in it, warmed in the microwave and corn chips with tequila lime MSG flavoring to dip in it...

No matter how many times I walk away from that snack feeling sick, I still eventually make my way back to it...bad, bad, bad, but oh, so good.

I love vodka with pomegranate liquor. Grapefruit is a nice addition, I'll have to try that.

Erin said...

This was one of my favorite guilty pleasures in college. I am sure if it was put in front of me today I would do some serious work on it!

Ed Bruske said...

Thanks for sharing, everyone. It's good to know we aren't the only ones falling off the healthy/organic wagon occasionally. Maybe we can eat start eating our Rotel and Velveeta without the paper bag.